Fish One Liner Jokes

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One of my tropical fish has a growing mass in the eyes – what should I do?

We have received some tropical fish - we had about two weeks for the transfer between the houses all went well with the fish seem happy, but one of them has a mass bulbourus front of one eye that was white and turned slightly pink. The fish seem healthy. Any suggestions as to what this might be or how we can deal with them?

Is it like a headache growing? If so could be a tumor, in which case it will get bigger, it is treatable, but most of the fish may not die, at least in the short term.

Robot Fish

Cuisinart GR-4N 5-in-1 Griddler

$185.00

The Cuisinart(tm) Griddler makes “multifunctional” an understatement! Make perfect panini… plus! With four separate cooking options, it can handle everything from pancakes to sausages to grilled cheese to steaks, hamburgers and panini. It helps you prepare more servings of more kinds of food in less time, so you can cook for a crowd — no one has to wait!Simply change the cooking plates and adju…

Nesco/American Harvest FD-80 Square-Shaped Dehydrator

$55.89

Easy-to-use dehydrator for drying fruit, vegetables, herbs and jerky. Lay out jerky strips with ease. Includes spices and cure packets. U.S.A. Shape: Square, Watts: 700, Top Mount Fan: Yes, Tray included: 4, Adjustable Thermostat: Yes, Handle Type: Bale, Exterior Color: White, Dimensions L x W x H (in.): 14 1/2 x 14 1/2 x 10…

Wilton 2304-1050 101-Piece Cookie Cutter Set

$11.16

Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Valentine’s Day…cookie cutters for every season, and more! With a complete set of letters and numbers, designs for cowboys, stars, cars and animals, you’ll be ready for any occasion. Durable plastic cutters come in a convenient storage container. Hand wash. (2-1/2 to 6-1/4)…

Here Come The 123s [CD/DVD]

$8.38

Grammy Winning, Platinum selling Artists They Might Be Giants formed as a duo in 1982.\n\nFollowing a successful decade, in the late 90s the band began expanding their horizons into television, movies, and the internet, notably contributing the opening th…

Free to Be You & Me

$4.15

The iconic pet project of Marlo Thomas. Features Harry Belafonte, Rosie Grier, Mel Brooks, and Diana Ross.A great hour of brain food for the young—and not-so-young….

Woodstock: Three Days of Peace & Music (Two-Disc 40th Anniversary Director’s Cut)

$7.95

The Alfred 2-DVD set, Woodstock 3 Days of Peace and Music The Director’s Cut celebrates the 40th anniversary of the monumental musical event of the ’60s. The two DVDs include a new 4-hour remastered director’s cut of the film and over 3 hours of extras including: A Museum at Bethel Woods: The Story of the Sixties & Woodstock documentary, 18 songs by 13 acts of performances that have never appeared…

Alice In Wonderland (Two-Disc 60th Anniversary Blu-ray/DVD Combo)

$22.98

Walt Disney’s Beloved Masterpiece Makes Its Breathtaking Blu-ray Debut!Experience the magic and majesty of Alice In Wonderland with the ultimate collector’s dream. For the first time, Walt Disney’s timeless classic bursts into brilliance in Blu-ray Hi Definition! Featuring Disney Enhanced Home Theater Mix, this remarkable digital restoration boasts pristine sound and unparalleled picture quality. …

Dr. Seuss – Green Eggs and Ham [VHS]

$2.40

The beloved Dr. Seuss book starring Sam-I-Am comes to life in this delightful, low-key production (though animation fans used to a lot of movement might be disappointed). Also on the bill are the Seuss-written “Ten Apples on Top” and “The Tooth Book.” –Tom Keogh…

Winnie the Pooh – Un-Valentine’s Day [VHS]

$4.99

This video from Disney’s Winnie the Pooh series introduces young children to themes of generosity, and explores the meaning of Valentine’s Day. Rabbit decides that the animals had given each other too many valentines the previous year. (Pooh in particular went overboard, giving two valentines for every one he received.) Rabbit tells the animals that Valentine’s Day has been canceled. But when Pooh…

Mayfair 48E2 Slow Close Toilet Round Seat with Lift Off Hinge, White Wood

$24.48

MAYFAIR DESIGNER ROUND MOLDED WOOD TOILET SEAT *16-1/2″ *White hinges *White *Innovative easy close hinges eliminates slamming *Non-tarnish stylish metal hinges complement today’s bath hardware *Durable multi-coat enamel finish *Fits all manufacturer’s round bowls *Shrinkwrapped…

One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish

$11.19

One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish

Gobioides broussonetti Dragon Fish

$5.99

Dragon Fish, or Violet Gobies, are odd fish that are native to coastal brackish marine estuaries of the western Atlantic coast from the Carolinas to Brazil. In captivity, they seem to thrive the best in brackish water. They are characterized by a long, silver-violet eel-like body, with dorsal and ventral fins that extend all the way to the tail. They have tiny eyes and a large mouth in which their sharp teeth can be clearly seen. Despite their predatory appearance, Dragon Fish are not big predators. They have poor eyesight, and do little hunting. Dragon Fish often feed by scooping mouthfuls of sand or mud, swallowing edible items, and spitting out the rest. Their natural diet consists mainly of diatoms, worms, and small crustaceans. In the aquarium, they will accept live and frozen blackworms, bloodworms, brine shrimp, ghost shrimp, krill, as well as sinking pellets and occasionally, tiny guppies. Due to their poor eyesight, Dragon Fish are often slow to find food, and do not get enough to eat before other fish consume all the food. Be sure that your Dragon Fish gets plenty to eat, or it may starve to death. Dragon Fish should be kept singly unless a large group can be kept in a tank of about 100 gallons or more. In small tanks and small groups, one larger Dragon Fish will dominate the others and some may be bullied or not get enough food. Dragon Fish can be kept with most peaceful fish that are too large to swallow.

Gnathonemus petersii Elephantnose Fish

$15.99

The Elephant Nose is an interesting fish with a long appendage on its snout below the mouth that looks like an elephant’s trunk. Its body is gray to black with a slender forked tail. The Elephant Nose is a nocturnal fish, hunting and feeding mostly at night. It uses its long snout to help it find worms, insects, larvae, and small crustaceans in the substrate. It is important to provide smooth-sided gravel or fine sand so that it does not injure itself when looking for food in this way. Elephant Noses will accept most small live foods, but can usually be trained to eat frozen foods and sometimes, sinking pellets. The Elephant Nose is able to produce a weak electric discharge that it uses in courtship and in locating prey. This fish is relatively peaceful toward other fish of similar size, but is territorial and aggressive with its own kind. For this reason they are best kept one per tank unless the aquarium is very large, about 200 gallons or more. Provide a heavily planted tank with soft, acidic water and subdued lighting. This provides natural hiding places and will help minimize stress. Elephant noses are sensitive fish, and are easily stressed by poor water quality. Frequent water changes are a must to keep this fish healthy. Use caution if it becomes necessary to add medications or other harsh chemicals to the tank as many of these products are harmful or fatal to the elephant nose. If using medications, read the instructions carefully to be sure that the product is safe for scale-less fish. It may be necessary to use a mild medication or use a product at half-strength. This is a Restricted item and is not covered by our Arrive Alive 5-Day Guarantee. Please visit the Guarantee Policy and Restricted Species webpages for more information.

Fish:

$15.4

Each of the more than one hundred recipes suggests as many as a dozen choices of fish and shellfish, with precise cooking times for each.

Fish

$3.49

Fish Rub-On Vinyl Cut Christian fish symbol with the word Jesus inside. This rub on comes in one of three colors; blue, red or white. Sorry, no color choice is available.

Monocirrhus polyacanthus South American Leaf Fish

$14.99

The South American Leaf Fish is one of the best examples of camoflauge by mimicry. The flattened body, mottled coloration, and slow movements of this fish make it look like a leaf floating in the water. When a prey item like a small fish or invertebrate swims by, the Leaf Fish lunges and sucks in its meal. The Leaf Fish should not be kept with small fish like tetras, livebearers, rasboras or similar fish as these will most likely be eaten. They can usually be kept with larger peaceful fish or in a tank by themselves to spotlight their unusual behavior and appearance. Live foods like small feeder guppies, ghost shrimp or brine shrimp may be needed at first to trigger a feeding response but some Leaf Fish may be weaned onto frozen foods in time. They will not usually accept flakes or pellets. Planted aquariums or aquariums with lots of artificial foliage are best to help this fish act most natural.

Vacation Feeder – Fish Shape – 14-Day – 2 pk

$2.99

Enjoy your vacation and don’t worry about your fish. They’ll be fine thanks to Pro Balance Vacation Fish Feeders. While you enjoy a week on vacation, your fish will be fed every day. Each feeder releases high-quality tubifex, bloodworms, and other delicious, nutritious foods that all fish love, along with vitamins and minerals, too. Have a great vacation with Pro Balance Vacation Fish Feeders. One block is good for a 10-15 gallon aquarium for up to 7 days.